Twilight Twitches

fetscherDear Family,
It must be the heat. My slate is blank, or almost... Maybe this is a moment to talk a bit about something that has been at the back of my “heat-oppressed mind.” (That’s a line from Shakespeare’s Macbeth. Unfortunately, what is in Macbeth’s vision is a dagger which he can’t touch but only see. It’s pretty black as visions go, but you’ll have to read the play. What I want to talk about isn’t that bleak, much less black.) It’s about weddings.

The folk who I would like to read this are not likely to see it, but maybe if their parents or grandparents do, it might get through. Not necessarily in order of importance, I’ll call these ponderings...

Wedding Wisdoms and Whimsies

I Don’t put a deposit down on a place for a wedding reception until you are sure your church is available. Common sense, no? Alas, sometimes common sense seems to be in short supply when wedding bells fill the air. (It also makes me concerned about what couples think is more important, the ceremony or the reception.)

II A question we get is, “How much does it cost to be married in your Church?” That drives me nuts, but I understand it. Some of the wedding charges for churches are pretty amazing. Being ordained 50+ years and being 77 makes me feel I can get away with saying, “Sacraments don’t cost money and should not cost money.” On the other hand, I can understand sometimes how pastors see the kind of money that is spent on weddings and then don’t get a donation sufficient to cover the cost of the A.C. during the rehearsal or the ceremony.

III Your wedding is your wedding. Forget every other wedding you were ever at. Copying stuff just costs you money you don’t need to spend.
 
IV One of the most powerful things you can do is to take time to choose your scriptures and prayers for your celebration. TOGETHER! We always give the couple a book to help them make those choices. It brings a wonderful spiritual element to your preparation.

I could go on a lot longer. Many years ago, my niece Kim and her now-husband Rene prepared their wedding. They completed all the course work and all their papers were done. They had a pretty big reception planned when Rene got a great job offer. The only problem was that when it came through, he had to be there in two weeks. They didn’t know when that would happen, and it threw the wedding plans into the air. I suggested that maybe we could just gather the immediate family members and have a small celebration and then in a year when they were settled, they could come home for a first anniversary party.

Kim was not so sure, but two days later she called and asked, “Uncle Jim, what are you doing on Saturday evening?” Believe me, if I had been going to see the Pope I would have postponed it, and I said, “Why nothing I couldn’t change. Why do you ask?” as if I didn’t know.

In five days, the parents flew in, the siblings assembled, and I got a wonderful lady to fix a dinner for 30. (Thank God she remembered a wedding cake. Rectory wedding receptions are rare.)

One of the very happiest memories I have, is that Rene and Kim were the last to leave the rectory that night, and on their way out, Kim said, “Uncle Jim, we’re not coming back in a year. Nothiing could possibly be better than this night.”

Perhaps that memory underlies what might seem to be my “thing” about weddings. I know they can be done well and don’t need to be circuses.

Stay out of the heat! In Jesus,
sign frjim

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